Updated: Sep 2, 2021
Love of the self is the starting point of a healthy self-esteem and empowers you to love others.
‘She remembered who she was and the game changed’- Lalah Deliah
‘How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you’- Rupi Kaur
Here are some thought provoking truths:
You are not your achievements
You are not your failures
You are not who you think you are
You are not who other people think you are
You are not who you think, other people think you are
You are a spirit, who has a soul (mind, will and emotions) and you live in a body.
Our sense of ‘self’ is more often what our past experiences have moulded us to believe to be true-memories are our experiences with emotions, and we often get caught up living in the memories of who we have been programmed to believe true. This is however not our true authentic self. Whatever you are unhappy about with your ‘self’ can be re-programmed into your unconscious mind as your sense of self is constantly evolving and is not a constant. Your mindset needs to be in alignment with your ‘heart set’ so that you can have inner peace that who you desire to be will show up in your life. Your conscious mind (your will and your desires) must work coherently with your subconscious mind (the programming that is stored in your body adopted from your past experiences, culture, other people and your environment). When you get these 2 firing together you get a peaceful and balanced sense of self and you can show up with authenticity to your true self. This takes daily work and awareness of regulating your emotional state. Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said:
‘No one can insult you without your permission’. That’s liberating!
I love the quote from Oscar Wilde:
’ Be yourself because everyone else is taken.’
HOW DOES SELF-LOVE AFFECT YOUR SENSE OF SELF AND YOUR RESULTS?
> If you have a low self-love you will be in constant conflict with everyone and everything in your life. Everything stems from Self-love. If you do not love yourself, it will be nearly impossible to love others as you can only give what you have within you. Nurturing self-love is pinnacle to all your relationships, career and success in life. > It is the most important starting point and we all need to develop more self-love in an ‘ego-free’ way, a way where we feel whole, valuable and worthy so that we see everyone else as whole, valuable and worthy.
> We all self-sabotage ourselves because of a low self-love. How are you self-sabotaging yourself right now? What would you choose instead of these ‘self-imposed’ limitations? Make a list on one side of a page and right down all the things you are doing that self-sabotage yourself and then on the right side write down all the things you choose, instead. For example: I always have this inner thought that I am not enough. However, I now choose to believe that I am worthy and resourceful to create a great life.
Here are 4 truths to grow self-love (from Robin Sharma-one of the world’s greatest Personal Mastery Coaches)
1. Honour your uniqueness/specialness
No one has your gifts, talents, sufferings and experiences that you have. Appreciate your greatness and your authenticity.
2. Do hard things daily-daily rituals and habits
Are you on the path of least resistance? Life is hard and good things come to those who push past the barriers of resistance and challenges. Doing and persevering difficult things builds self-respect. Optimise your daily rituals and you optimise your results which builds your self-love.
What is your micro-win for the day-what is the one thing that you can do to build your self-esteem? Reflect on what you did well the day before as it builds up self-appreciation and self-love. This will also motivate you and it will build up momentum to be the highest, truest version of yourself. Be a person of excellence and fulfil your promises to yourself. When you live life by design and not default you build up your self-respect. Optimise on your strengths and daily envision who you want to emulate and be and your physiology will support you so that you increase and grow your authentic self.
3. Go to the Woods
Go to the wilderness-spend time in silence, solitude and stillness. In our over stimulated world of Enhance the beauty of nature by being mindful of your surroundings through activating your 5 senses. Simplify the clutter in your life and mind by practising oneness with nature and beauty. Go within and access your inner child to bring out your appreciation of life and in doing such, you celebrate yourself and your unique place in the universe. Simplicity leads to serenity. Take time to ‘wonder’ and remember and re-connect with who you really are.
4. Contribution (your commitment to impact your world)
The more people you help with your innate gifts and talents; the more you, yourself will grow your self-worth. Greatness is about serving others-shift your focus from your ‘self-seeking’ ego, to your true inherent nature of pure love. Get the spotlight off the rewards you desire and you get a greater satisfaction from what you offer the world.