Updated: Mar 24, 2021
‘Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgement of others’: Dr Wayne Dyer
When you are secure with who you are; and you have a healthy sense of self-worth, you will treat people with love, dignity and honesty. When you are broken you are not able to give something that you don’t have.
My mom always taught me: ‘Treat others as you would like to be treated’, imagine if the world could live by this mantra, what a different world we would have!
Here are some of the things she taught me which has helped shape my relationships:
> Think before you speak; if it isn’t necessary, true or kind; don’t say it.
> Be quick to listen and slow to speak
> Always see the best in people
> Hurting people hurt other people
> Be true to yourself and your values
> Act with integrity and honesty
> Don’t give away your peace or your power
> Be authentic - only you can be the best you
> Be humble and yet true to your convictions and your truth-be big enough to apologise for when you are wrong or when someone else thinks you have wronged them-you will live with a clear conscience
> Give of yourself selflessly with love; not expecting anything in return
> Don’t assume, presume and don’t expect-you will always be disappointed
> Don’t try and control another person, it is their life, their journey, their choices
> Accept people for who they are and not for what you want them to be or for what they can do for you
> Treat Kings and maidservants the same-it shows true character
> Emulate your Creator, don’t judge-you are not God
> Live in constant gratitude-there are always people far worse off than yourself
> Forgive often and let go of offences: it will free you from being a prisoner of anger, bitterness, pain, sickness and helplessness
Our connectedness with the way we feel about ourselves and the divine has a huge impact on our relationships. When we are experiencing conflict in a relationship; instead of looking to blame and shame; just become aware of the conflict and ask yourself : ‘Is this worth my pease and my energy?’ My mom also taught me in life not to ‘sweat the small stuff’. If it warrants a confrontation and closure then approach the other person with an open mind and an open heart, without judging. Not one of us is perfect; be gracious and life with treat you the same. What you sow you will reap: it is a Universal Law of vibration and attraction.
Lastly, forgive yourself and the person who has wronged you. This is a choice and a process; but it is the most powerful gift you can give yourself and to others. Give with unconditional love and you will be amazed how you will be rewarded. You get to keep your power, energy and joy and you release yourself from a prison of bitterness, resentment and ultimately ill health.
A thought to consider: We see things as WE are; not as THEY are. There is no absolute truth; just relative truth. It is all a matter of perspective, attitude and outlook.